Pondering in My Heart
December 24, 2018
Pondering in My Heart
It’s Christmas Eve.
Usually, at this time, my mind overflows with thoughts about Mary, Jesus’ mother. I think about her boldness when she says “let it be to me as you have said.” I think about how the Bible always adds this little line after something she hears or watches; “and Mary pondered this in her heart.”
I especially feel empathy over the Christmases when I’ve been pregnant. (2009 and 2011 when my babies came a few days into the new year were very busy with my pondering… so much that I wrote a children’s story about Jesus’ birth one of those years!) This year, my little blessing is due to show up in about eight or ten weeks.
I like to study the culture of the person I’m trying to study: the historical significance of their world, the turmoil they faced, the cultural norms that differ from what we have today. These little details help me to step into their shoes and wiggle my toes around. I like to imagine what it would have been like to be Mary, likely between 12 and 14 years old, among her Jewish community controlled by an Empirical Roman government when highways were roamed by soldiers and bandits, family and community were everything (so doing something against the community would have been horrid), and the talk of sedition (rebellion) was strong and swiftly crushed. I wonder about her life: her childhood, her struggles as a parent, wife, and community member. I remember that when she said “let it be unto me…” she was just a normal girl allowing God to use her.
She was like any one of us.
She had to humble herself before God and she doubted; as she even said, “but how can this be…” questioning the miracle before agreeing to be part of it.
She must have been a logical thinker like me. “…pondered this in her heart…” That is what I do all the time. Whether or not I speak, write, or pray about it, I think about everything that God surprises me with in life. I want to put the puzzle together, but realize that God knows far more than me so I relax and resign myself to just “pondering” (thinking) and praying about what I don’t understand.
I love how the Bible uses real, authentic people. People just like you and me are scattered in every story. Every one of them has doubts, challenges, questions, obstacles, and life choices just like us. Every one of them must make their own decisions, just like us.
We like to think of them in their glory – after they’ve moved to where they are in victory. We remember David killing Goliath, Samson destroying the false temple, Mary as Jesus’ mother at or after his birth, Peter evangelizing, Paul traveling all over the known world, etc. But each of them started as a normal person who had to make his or her own active choice to give of themselves and allow God to take the lead.
During Christmastime when I’m constantly rereading the story of Jesus’ birth to my children, I’m reminded that I have to humble myself and allow God to continually take control in my life so I can be and do what God has planned for me. I encourage you to give God control over every aspect of your life – He designed you, He knows you best! He knows the desires of your heart and sometimes you may not even know them yourself!
Thanks for reading!
Type at you later…
~Nancy Tart
