Responsibility – Claim It
Responsibility – Claim It
June 9, 2024
Random text from my teenager: “Can you just transfer the money from my savings into your savings? I want this van.”
At work finishing up something as my phone makes the cute little sound for Kimberly’s text, I laugh at the lines popping up on the screen.
She’s driving the “new car” (a used van) with Louis following her. She’s just excited that we have a third car – something she can borrow and not depend on everyone else and the Sunshine Bus for rides.
I remember when each one decided to take the reins on their life:
Boom – from “I hate school!” and refusal to do any book work to “I have to do these books to get into college? Cool” – and less than a year later have half of them done. Mapping bus schedules to keep all commitments, studying, serving, and working.
Boom – from serious setbacks and factors far outside of her control leading to a year and a half of deep self-study (and worrying dad about her “drive”) to “Mom, this school takes early admits… I applied… I got an email… you have to graduate me early” (yes, all in one conversation!)
Boom – deciding on when to take the PERT, being serious about nutrition, workout, finances, getting a job with goals for her savings, and detailed planning day-by-day and week-by-week and years in advance that makes me proudly smile.
Boom – from serious self-doubt and the resulting lack-of-direction-second-and-third-guessing to making serious decisions about future, setting 6- 8- and 10-year goals.
The results of the newest seriousness is creating a lot of head-nodding and me repeating, “she’s got this” to Louis.
Louis asked when I got home from the DMV after signing her up for a license, “are you sure she’s ready?” – She’s been my chauffer for a little over a year now… pretty sure she’s got this.
Which leads to today’s mom smile and laughter. Not because it’s funny, but because I knew I would get that text. We’ve been talking about buying this third vehicle for months; maybe closer to a year. I have said, maybe more than once, that when we did, either my sister would ride in it and love it (did, yes), or Kimberly would ask to buy it (did, yes).
Louis advised her to save her money for her dream truck (2012 Toyota Tacoma, if anyone happens to have one they are practically giving away for a teen’s life savings of 3.5k) because we knew we would have some serious repair bill (yes, about 5k) and she’d get to borrow the van anyway. It could even be her “hand-me-down-car” like the 4Runner is Christina’s. (That is our family’s term for a very dependable vehicle we don’t want to trade away – they “own” and maintain it until they are ready to trade up, then the agreement is they “sell it” back to us for whatever a dealership would trade it in for.) Our old “hand-me-down-cars” are worth much more to us than the $500 or even $1000 the dealership would give as a trade in.
Responsibility is taught, but I’ve found it grows too. You turn around and suddenly they have bloomed into a responsible adult. My mom brain keeps trying to analyze the whys. For each of the oldest four, it has been something different to prod each into growth. It always happens in their own unique time. There also isn’t any warning!
Common thread? They start to claim the responsibility. They just do it. They own their actions and their future. Responsibility starts when you claim it.
Anyway, random thoughts for today… Enjoy the day! (And claim responsibility for your future!)
Thank you for reading.
Type at you next time,
~Nancy Tart
